That Which Never Was (Part 3)

"I'm warning you now," my guide said softly. "This will be the hardest for you to see." The scene rewound and once again I found myself looking at a picture of young-me prior to asking Sarah to prom.

"Has any of the background changed from the previous two outcomes you have shown me?" I asked. "Am I still dating Liz, or not?"

"No," he replied, "now, watch."

The volume turned up so I could hear the conversation. "Hey, Sarah," young-me said. "What's up?" The conversation drifted into the meaningless for a while before young-me got to the point. I expected something similar to previous vision of this moment in time, but, young-me just said, "Hey, listen, I was wondering if you woulgo to prom with me? There is no one else I'd rather go with than you." Sarah nodded her head and smiled. She said that she would love to, and then the volume faded out.

The scene shifted again, but this time I was sitting with Kevin, James, and Logan at lunch one. We were discussing prom and the upcoming summer. James, Logan, and I all poked fun at Kevin trying to get him to suck it up and ask Alisha out on a date outside of prom. Kevin blushed bright red and said, "I will if Danny asks Sarah out." A collective "Ooo" went up from the rest of the guys. Kevin had called young-me out.

I listened intently to hear what young-me would say. "It depends on how prom goes. I don't know how everything will play out." All the guys started complaining about young-me's "cop-out" answer, but young-me simply shrugged and said, "It's true."

The scene changed again. I was back in front of Sarah's house, dropping her off from prom. I watched as young-me, once again, debated on kissing Sarah, and, once again, didn't. I was confused and turned to ask my guide what was going on, but he just raised his hand and the scene changed again. This time it was just after graduation. Sarah and Alicia had come to see the seniors off before our graduation celebration trip. James, Logan, Tyler, and Kevin were all on the bus and young-me was boarding when Sarah called my name. Young-me stopped and met her. The volume turned up so I could hear this conversation. Sarah told me she just wanted to say goodbye before we left, so young-me must have thought it was an appropriate time. "What are you doing tomorrow?" young-me asked.

"Nothing," Sarah answered. "Why?"

Young-me stammered over the words, but finally asked if she wanted to go on a date then. Sarah's face lit up, and a smile broke across her face. She was more excited about being asked on this date than to prom. The volume faded, but the picture didn't. Young-me must have been feeling bold, because he kissed her. Lucky for young-me, Sarah kissed back. The visible reactions from James, Logan, and Tyler were hilarious. They all looked like they were whooping and hollering and applauding young-me, but Kevin looked shell-shocked. I guess he knew that he had to live up to his end of the bargain.

The scene faded into black and I heard my guide say, "That sequence of events changed everything. You never left the state for college. You stayed in town and waited for Sarah to finish high school. These next scenes will go by fast, but they will be crystal clear. Brace yourself."

The scenes began to flick through as though they were pictures. Yet, I saw all of them perfectly. The first was of our date the next night. The second was of us at a party. The third was of us on our one-year dating anniversary, then her senior prom, then her graduation, our two-year anniversary, and going off to state university together. The last picture I saw before everything went black again was of me kneeling with a ring in my hand and her with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. I didn't need to hear or be told that I had proposed and she had said yes.

"That last one," my guide said, once we re-entered the darkness, "it would have been about a year ago. This next one would have been yesterday." I could feel myself crumble to the floor as the darkness lifted and I saw Sarah and myself getting married.

Tears flooded my eyes and I screamed, "Enough! Stop!" The picture faded and was replaced with white. I was face to face with my guide.

"I told you this would be the hardest," my guide said sadly. "As you were told at the beginning, this last outcome is no longer possible, but neither are the previous two. You will always have Sarah as a friend." The guide paused for a bit, allowing this bit of information to wash over me. "You have a choice now," he resumed. "Whichever way you choose, you wake up. One choice is to wake up with no knowledge of this night and what you have seen. The other is to wake up with full knowledge. You should know, though, that if you choose to not remember tonight, you will wake up back as a senior a week before you tell Liz you are flying back to take her to her senior prom. If you choose to remember, you will wake up tomorrow and nothing except your knowledge will have changed."

I sat down on the white floor and put my head in my hands. I ran through each of the three other outcomes I was shown. One lead to a happy ever after with Sarah, but the other two lead to a life without her at all. One thought sprang to the front of my mind, "Is it better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all?" But I already loved her. She was just like a sister, and I loved her. Could I really risk giving that up? I stood back up and looked my guide in the face and said, "Let me keep this. Sarah is too important to lose altogether. Besides, she is happy now."

As soon as I said those words, I woke up. My phone was going off. I checked my text message and saw it was from Sarah. It said, "Hey. I just wanted to say I miss you. Love you big brother." A tear rolled down my cheek as I responded: "I miss you too Sarah. Have a good day. Love you." After I sent the message, a smile crossed my face.

Yeah, this was the right choice.

(The End)
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Toodles.